"Leaving Eden"

Our family was blessed with beautiful days in Ensenada last summer. It's funny how at the start everyone thought we were crazy for taking a job in Mexico, especially because we had two little boys. However, we didn't want to spend the summer apart, so we went for it. I remember being a little nervous as we crossed the border, feeling so far away from home already, wondering if we had made a mistake. But the following days would prove to be some of the most beautiful of our lives. It truly was a garden of Eden for us, and when it came time to leave I found unexpected tears began to fall. I would have guessed at the beginning that I would be packed and ready to leave weeks in advance, but instead I was dragging my feet.

Looking back I understand now why I was so grateful for our Mexican summer, and why I didn't want to leave. It was going to be my last summer with my little three year old boy. It was a tender mercy from heaven to have those ten weeks of time on the beach, time when dad didn't have to work as much, and time that just seemed to pass a little slower. I'll forever be grateful for our summer in Eden.

18" x 24" oil on belgian linen panel

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"Summer's Gift"

I told Sky at Morgan's birthday party this summer, that she was the best present Morgan received that day, and she definitely was. Those two little kids played together everyday, she was Morgan's first best friend. They loved walking along the beach and collecting little treasures. I love how Sky is holding a piece of dried up seaweed in her hands. It just illustrates the wonder that children find in the world, and it makes me smile. Thank you Sky for all the giggles and smiles you brought to Morgan. We love you!

10" x 30" oil on panel

"An Angel for the Storm"

I’ve always had a fascination with angels and a desire to be in their presence. There have been several times in my life when I believed at any moment an angel would appear. I have wondered what they would look like, would they be so bright my eyes could hardly see? Would they be transparent? Would they hover above the air? Would I be afraid if one actually came? The thing I never considered was the conditions for an angel to appear. In the Bible angels usually appear during a moment of extreme difficulty: God sent an angel to Daniel to shut the mouths of the lions (Dan 6:22), an army of angels appeared to help save the Israelites from the Syrians (2 Kings 6:17), an angel appeared to warn Joseph of the decree of Herod to kill every baby boy, and told him to take his family and flee to Egypt (Matthew 2:13), angels appeared to strengthen the Savior after the temptations of Satan (Matthew 4:11).

In recent months I too found myself in direr circumstances, as I watched my first-born son struggle and fight for his life in the hospital. He experienced weeks of neurological “storming” and the convulsing was almost more than I could bear. There were many nights that I pled for Heavenly Father to just take away all the pain, and make my son whole and new. I longed for the day that I would be able to take my little boy home and get back to life as usual. I pled that Heavenly Father would perform a miracle and heal Him. As I stood by my son’s bedside, night after night, I thought often of the most extreme of all cases, as the Savior suffered in Gethsemane. The Savior of the World pled:

“Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.” (Mark 14:36)

But the Father could not remove the cup, for it was necessary for the salvation of all mankind, and so instead,

“…there appeared an angel unto Him from heaven, strengthening Him.” (Luke 22:43)

And likewise, it was not God’s will to let this cup pass from my son, or from me, for it must have been necessary for our progression, but instead there appeared a whole host of angels to strengthen us. I came to understand during this time, more than any other point in my life, what an angel truly is. Some come from heaven and we can feel them strengthening our souls and giving us power to go on. But many, many, are on earth and they hold us when we can’t stand anymore, and they cry with us and wipe away our tears, they made sure we were taken care of physically and financially. I’ve never felt so humbled or so grateful.

This painting is my tribute to all those that appeared to help us during this mighty storm and who continue to stand by us, even as we cope with the grief following it’s passing.

Thank you.

16" x 20" oil on linen

"Morgan and Momma"

In the time since my son's passing, I've become incredibly grateful for the ability to create art. It truly has been very healing for me, and the tears I cry while I work seem to cleanse my soul and add another layer of depth to the pieces I'm working on. This was the first piece I created since being home from the hospital, it was always one of my favorite pictures of Morgan. It shows his beautiful smile and the love between him and his grandma. Thank you for being a part of my life and my art Morgan!

20" x 16" graphite on paper

"My Greatest Masterpiece"

For those of you that are unaware, the past couple months have been particularly difficult for me. On September 26th my son was found lifeless in a pool, he was resuscitated and life flighted to the nearest hospital. He fought valiantly for 6 1/2 weeks, and then returned home to his Father in Heaven on November 12th. During our time in the hospital, my family and I endured so many terrifying and desperate moments as we watched Victory Morgan struggle. However, no matter how dark the night, we always felt the strength and help from Heaven and the prayers of so many. I knew God was right there with us, and with Morgan. We miss him more than words can express. I know we'll be with him again someday, but in the meantime we're all learning a lot about patience and faith. I'm so thankful for my little man and for the three joyous years we shared together. I now know what Heaven will be like. Till we meet again little man!

"Brooklyn" - First in the "Number" series

"Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth." - Alma 26: 37

This Scripture really hit me when I read it this summer in Mexico, as I was surrounded by so many people of different cultures and backgrounds. My circle of friends included people from Japan, India, Australia, Germany, China, Russia, Lebanon, the United States, and of course, Mexico. It was wonderful to see how God truly was acting in the lives of each one. I knew that God truly did "number" us and knew us individually.

The idea of God "numbering" his people also brought to mind a little quirk of mine. When it comes to my little boys' toys I have this habit of counting every toy as we pick up, so that we don't lose any. I'm very proud to say that my mother-in-law gave a set of 30 colored wooden blocks to my 3 year old 2 years ago, and we still have all 30. I can't tell you how many times I have counted to 30 as I have put those blocks away, and sometimes I would get to 26 or 27, and realize I had 3 or 4 blocks I had to search out. I'd find one in the bookcase, a couple in the toy box, but when I found all 30 I felt such a weird kind of peace knowing that they were all safely tucked away in the cloth block bag until we would bring them out again to play. A couple times I would put them away with one still missing, and I had that one block in the back of my mind until we would find it a couple days later in a couch cushion or under the piano. And every time I found that last block, I considered it a small victory.

I know God feels the same way about His children, He "numbers" us because He doesn't want to lose a single one. He wants us all to come back home again to Him, to all be safely gathered in. He also "numbers" us as a symbol, to tell us that He is aware of the "the one".

I will now be incorporating this theme into many of my portraits to come by hiding a small number somewhere in the painting. In this particular painting I have two numbers, one to represent the group of people in the painting that was painted in 1839, and one to represent the girl visiting the gallery in 2011. For God knew His people in 1839, and He knows us still today.

9" x 12" oil on panel

SOLD

"Going Back to Charlotte"

Can I just say how good it is to be back in the USA after a summer away? I welcomed my dishwasher, dryer, and easel with open arms! It was a wonderful experience, but it's always good to come back home and get back to work. As I've been trying to unpack and put my life back together, I came across this painting I did back in 2007. I liked the complementary color scheme and the look on the little girl's face, and decided to take the painting further.

It's amazing how my vision continues to change, what I thought looked finished four years ago, looked pretty dreadful next to my more recent paintings. I had to start by correcting the drawing, the whole face was too narrow and the eyes were uneven. I also had to add A LOT more opacity to the skin, why did I paint so transparent back then? I've learned that painting a little thicker adds a more three dimensional feel to the painting. I also toned down the green in the background. I've learned you don't need to beat people over the head with the color scheme, and choosing a dominant and subordinate is important. I decided to let red take the lead.

Anyways, for those of you that are still out there following my blog after a summer away, thank you! There will definitely be more to come shortly!

7 7/8" x 9 7/8" oil on panel

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"You are My Sunshine" II

Another little 5" x 7" from our summer abroad. Painting my boys has been so fun! Benson True, you bring so much joy to our family!

5" x 7" oil on panel

"You are my Sunshine"

Our family is traveling outside of the country for the months of June and July, and so all I brought with me on the trip is a couple little canvases. This is a little portrait of my soon to be three year old. He really does bring so much light and happiness into my life. I love you little man!

(You'll have to forgive the quality of the image, I left my scanner at home! I'll repost the scanned in images when I get home!)

5" x 7" oil on panel

"Beautiful Savior"

I guess you could say this painting has been in the works ever since I started painting. I knew someday I would paint the Savior. He is the subject I feel most deeply about, and so my heart yearned to paint Him. However, I always put His portrait in the "someday" category, as I felt I wasn't good enough "this day" to do it. Then it occurred to me "one day" that if I always put Him in the "someday" that day would probably never come. So I gave myself permission to mess up, to not be perfect, and to just try. I knew this wasn't going to be my one and only portrait of Christ, and so I could give myself a starting point, a place to grow from.

I did a lot of research in connection with this painting. I must have looked at hundreds of paintings of Christ. I'd look at portrait after portrait and say, "Nope. That's not what Christ looks like to me. This one looks too old. This one is too serious. This one is too weak." And suddenly, the task at hand overwhelmed me. What was I thinking? Who did I think I was trying to capture the likeness of the Savior?

So I wrote one of my professors from college to get advice, had he ever painted the Savior? Any tips? He told me he hadn't ever painted the Savior, and never intended to, why try to paint someone when we have no idea what he looks like? Especially when there were plenty of other good artists that had created His image already. I was really starting to question my painting at this point.

Then I sat down with another book of images of Christ, and was wondering what to do, when I had this thought: "Jenedy, what does it matter if they look exactly like Christ?" And suddenly I had this revelation, I wasn't creating this painting just so I could share with the world what I thought Christ looked like. And all this images of Christ from Bloch, Anderson, Caravaggio, they weren't painting Christ to share with the world what Christ looked like. They painted Him as a symbol of charity, love, faith, and hope. They painted Christ because of what He stood for, and what He did, not just so we could see Him. And when people put pictures of Christ on their walls, it wasn't to show their friends what Christ looked like, it was a reminder of who Christ was and their relationship to Him. It was a reminder that Christ lived, and that He still lives, and that He is aware of each and every one of us.

Suddenly I felt free to return to my easel, as the weight of creating a perfect likeness of Christ fell from off of my shoulders. I went to work, and did the best I could, hoping that someone out there would feel something when they looked at my painting. I hoped they would feel Christ's love for them and sense His reality, without expecting an exact portrait.

This painting is a precious one to me, although it is just a starting point. It's relatively simple in composition, but there is more to it than just a head and shoulders. If you look closely, you'll notice that the cloak over His head is really textured, and kind of rough. This was done in contrast to the beautiful smooth white robe. This is meant to be a symbol of the Savior, a God, coming down to earth, and taking upon Himself mortality, and with it the sins of the whole world. How thankful I am for His humility in setting aside His majesty to come to be with the least of us, and making it possible for us to one day put on those beautiful white robes ourselves.

How much I love Him. This is my witness of Him.

12" x 24" oil on cradled panel

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"Home"

Where have I been lately? Well, here it is... the 18" x 24" I've been working on for the past month. I was challenged by a gallery owner last fall to work on improving the complexity of my work, to try to work a little larger, and to include more interest in my backgrounds. Well, I took his advice and went for it, and wow... the amount of time involved grows exponentially! But I'm really pleased with the painting, and feel like it commanded growth.

The concept for the painting was inspired by the first time I walked into my parents' house after returning from my first semester of college. My mom was there at the door to greet me, and I felt my eyes fill with unexpected tears. There was a light there and a warmth that I'm sure I had overlooked before. It was a beautiful feeling. It's always so good to be home.

18" x 24" oil on panel

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